Besides Kundli, behavior and nurturing matters a lot in a Relationship which people commonly forget to match.
When 2 people get married, we always try to match Kundli, may be financial status, family background or religion, is he/she from our caste or not, is he/she speaks our language or not, or is our status matching at financial level. what he/she has studied? The girl is a doctor and the boy is an engineer we tried to match all these things.
Until your behavior background doesn’t match its hard to match your thinking level/pattern. And until your thinking doesn’t match your relationship is not going to work. And we call it Nurture which is very important in our life.
So now what is the need of knowing the background or nurturing of your future wife/husband?
Example:- when you saw the movie trailer did you know the movie is worth to watch but you decided to watch the movie. Like we can’t predict the movie just by watching the trailer, is it good or not, in the same way we can’t predict the person just by meeting with him/her for few minutes or hours before marriage.
Like you went to watch the movie just by watching the trailer and later you came to know that what a blunder you have done, in the same way before marriage the person looks suitable for marriage but later you realize in some time that what blunder you have done.
Friends before marriage we meet the person for few minutes or few hours at maximum but our parents even didn’t get this change.
But when you meet somebody for few minutes or hours you can do what the other person wants to impress him/her.
For Example:- if she doesn’t like my smoking I’ll control myself for 2 hours and when you meet her for 2 hours you control yourself or if he doesn’t like my open hair I’ll tie it for 2 hours when we meet.
But do you know that-for 2 hours you compromise because that is for short time, it is easy to do something for short time what the other person likes, because the rest 22 hours we can do what we want to do.
But when you get married you have to stay with that person for 24 hours, and now if your wife says don’t smoke it becomes a problem, and you start thinking why is she controlling/troubling me, you start feeling that you are losing your identity, you are being controlled.
And these are the common words of new generation-
Why I compromise for him/her for my interests/hobbies.
Why I leave my hobbies, my interests, my likings for him/her.
I can’t live like this and now the problem starts…because now you both have to live together, for you knowledge let me tell you that besides husband & wife if you live with anyone, you will start to see some demerits in him or her gradually. Whether it’s your friend, your relatives or your favorite celebrity.
Because in that short period of time when you meet somebody you try to look and behave as much good as you can, but when you start spending maximum time with that person, you will start seeing some demerits in him/her. Whether it’s your friend, relatives or your favorite celebrity.
Here what I’m trying to say is that just understand each other’s background to find whether your habits or interests do match or not.
If you are a married couple or thinking of getting married let me take your test. And let’s see how much do you know each other.
Ask these questions to each other, and get to know how much do you know each other.
- What is your partners’ favorite color?
- What is your partners’ favorite actor/actress?
- What is your partners’ favorite food?
- What is your partners’ favorite place to hand out?
- What is your partners’ favorite interest?
This test will make you feel how much do you know each other.
Just think when we were child, we used to ask these questions before making friends and try to know each other but after years of marriage we don’t know our partner’s favorite color, food etc.. & It’s a shocking fact.
So the main thing is that if you want to know your partner, is he/she compatible for you to spend the rest of the life with him/her, you should know about his/her life background and nurturing, it will help you to match your behavior patterns. And you both can maintain your healthy relationship.
You can also learn more about Relationship on www.RelationshipRoots.com